Random thoughts on a travel day

1. I wish they served beer in vending machines. That would come in real handy right now.

2. When it's turbulent in the airplane, and a guy has to pee, does he sit or lean down, or just pee all over the bathroom? (After soliciting information, I am told it is the latter. Thanks, guys.)

3. How come when NorthWest lost my luggage, they gave me a little packet of toothpaste (yes, only good for one usage), and a t-shirt that says NorthWest on it (a XXL, mind you)? Why would I be free advertising for a company that lost my luggage and may or may not be able to get it to me?

4. What do you do when you drive to the airport (Reagan) and ALL lots are completely full, including hourly, valet, and economy? When you ask one of the attendants where to park, and he shakes his head and says not his problem, then what? Well, you start by crapping your pants a bit, because you already sat in 1 traffic jam to get there, and are running late for a terminal that you know will be busy on an airline that notoriously has crappy counter service. What to do? Well, clearly then you drive to the mall and take a cab. Brilliant!! (Hope it doesn't get towed...a strong possibility, though.)

5. How can airline gate agents leave mid-shift, mid-check-in? Saw that for the first time today...my co-worker was in line & had a check-in problem, and the agent just walked away, out the front of the counter and heading toward the door - I was standing nearby and asked her what he was supposed to do in this situation, and she said: "I don't know, someone else behind the counter can help him, I'm off for the day." It's kind of like a paramedic stopping CPR and going for a beer because the shift is over.

6. If there is a child on the plane who screams non-stop for the entire flight, I think it becomes appropriate to tell the parent: "either you shut that kid's mouth or I will." Don't you? I didn't try it today because my brain was bleeding out my ears due to the crying, but I'm thinking the next time that'll be my course of action.

7. I had a pretty foul mouth today...been a bit grumpy...so I realized it's not appropriate to go to the NorthWest counter agent and say "My f-ing bag didn't get here, and I f-ing need it tonight for a meeting early tomorrow. I can't believe this bulls-it. F-ing ridiculous." Might have been an overreaction, but then again, I had listened to an hour of screaming children where all I could think of was shoving the kid in the overhead bin. Now, here's the kicker...I'll be back at the airport in less than 24 hours...they may as well have just kept the dang bag there, and I could just dump it back on the airplane for the way back.

8. Clothing at Wal-Mart in rural North Dakota - not recommended you shop here. Even if all your luggage is lost, you have no clothes, and no contact solution, it'd be better to go naked and blind, I've decided. It's not as if I had my choice of stores in this here town...it was either "Big-K" or Wal-Mart (no lie - nothing else around - they don't sell clothes at the various American Indian super liquor marts, or the quiznos). And the clothes in this neck of the woods are built to be "extra generous" (lots of folks on the rez are plumper than the average bear), so I look like I'm in my "work" jammies. Very professional.

9. Ever wonder if the shampoo and conditioner in the hotel rooms have already been used or someone put something nasty in them? Me too. Gives me the willies - that's why I bring my own...but of course, it isn't here.

10. Bizarro world: someone actually asked if they could switch with me to give me an aisle seat. WHO DOES THAT? I was happy.

11. The American Car industry is buoyed up by middle America, especially the Dakotas. A Chevy or Ford is a necessity in these parts. All the cool kids have them. So what did they give me? A Toyota RAV-4, to differentiate the east-coaster. The only non-American car in town.

12. If you accidentally punch an old lady in the airport, did she have it coming? In my case, yes. I went to put on my jacket and she walked up right behind me (like real close), and as I put my arm through the sleeve I punched her in the shoulder by accident. But apparently I really wanted the jacket on, because I popped her so hard she lost her balance and almost fell over. Oopsie. But that's what you get.

13. Even though I've seen this episode of Sex and the City, why do I watch it for the 30th time? I even say in my head "I've seen this one before," but that doesn't make me pick up the remote and even see what else is on.

14. Do you ever stare at your hotel remote and think "eeeeewwwww"? Me too.

15. Ever have someone cut you off while driving and then end up at the same restaurant? That one happened today. Especially since that rat bastard did run around the bend and did a pull through, blocking the spot I was going to get into. Many evil glares were exchanged.

16. Ever have such a bad day you needed a venti iced coffee? That was yesterday.

17. The sun doesn't set in ND until 10PM. Wierd.