Droppin 'bows on the elevators

So apparently this guy really wanted to get to his office today. Maybe it was the sitting behind school buses all morning on the drive in, maybe he just really likes elevators, or he missed work terribly for 3 long days. Whatever it was, he was pushing into the elevator, badge in hand, ready to click his button and chop off the arm of any straggler who came in slowly or tried to hold the door for a colleague. Typically, men in the elevator lobby show us that chivalry is not dead and hold the door open and allow the women to enter. Not this tub-o...he dropped some 'bows and a hip check and edged us out of the doorway in an effort to get in first (and he was no small man) - then had the audacity to whisper sheepishly "sorry" with his head down as he's pressing the buttons furiously. And I'm elbow height, so I'm ducking and weaving to try and not get hit as he's swinging about. Dude, we're not going to a Bon Jovi concert trying to get into the pit for front row seats, we're trying to go to work - what's the hurry? It's not as if we want to be here and are excited to beat you on the elevator to get to our desks first, so let's not box out - there's no need. So I did what most do when they are angry at a person in an elevator - I glared meanly at the back of his head, sending bad voodoo vibes his way.

Anyway, he never got this lesson - it doesn't matter how fast or how many times you hit the button for your floor, the doors ain't closing any faster because you think you have fooled it into thinking 100 important people for the 2nd floor are on the elevator, so it better hustle up. The only button that is a bummer in our elevators is the close door button - that one responds rather well to repeated punching. Hence, the man who bumped us starts pushing that button furiously when he hears another person enter the elevator lobby, and the door slams shut as we see the person's head pop into view. Because after all, those 10 extra seconds allowing them to get in severely disrupts his timetable. It was silently gratifying for all of us when the elevator stopped at every single floor before reaching his...sucker. That was a delay I was willing to endure...