Oh this is funny

Gotta love search & replace...and the lack of quality control...

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/2008/06/the_dangers_of_1.html

http://www.google.com/news?sourceid=navclient-ff&rlz=1B3GGGL_en___US215&hl=en&ned=&q=%22tyson+homosexual%22&ie=UTF-8&scoring=d

Post-thunderstorm Rainbows

After a wicked thunderstorm the other day, I looked out my window and there was a huge double-rainbow. I couldn't get a panorama big enough to catch it all - it was a perfect arc across the sky, but here's a few pictures of what I could get. (not photoshop-ed)

Tahoe sunset

Sunset over the lake, from the deck of the hippie restaurant. (Freshies)

Only in Nevada..funnies

Only in Nevada did I find these gems...

Here's a good earthquake. Knocked out the top sensor for a few seconds. Feed from the University of Nevada, Reno.

Bridge to nowhere (literally, no road connecting the other sides of the bridge). Ok - funny - they are building this road along the side of the mountain range, directly over a fault line. If that's not silly enough, it's rated to withstand 60 MPH winds....but this area has gusts up to 95 MPH. Clearly a wise use of taxpayer funds. Only in Nevada.

They do have great car accoutremands.

Note to self: Never go into a restaurant if this is out front of it (Micasa Too ristorante = esta nasty). We did go in, stupidly, and felt like doing this on the way out. Their margaritas were like drinking straight tequila, with a touch of lime...which could have been ok, but not with cheap-o rail tequila. BURNS!

You can still carry a non-concealed weapon into bars in Nevada. This was a biker bar in Virginia City, NV. Cool place, but somehow I think mixing bikers, a lot of alcohol and guns is not the greatest idea. Hence the bucket of blood...

Interesting place across from the Bucket of Blood Saloon...I suppose the NV countryside might make you want to do this at times... The table is called this because it's said the former owners couldn't pay off a card game gambling debt or something like that in their saloon, so they each killed themselves on the felt. Then someone else did it a few years later. Good story, I'll tell it again sometime. I can't really remember the whole thing - go look it up yourselves. It's at the Delta Saloon in Virginia City, NV.

Yosemite

This place is awesome. Didn't go into the valley (but got a kick ass view from where we hiked up to), but entered from the east - Tioga Road entrance. It was a gorgeous day - still had snow caps on some of the mountains, but a bright, beautiful sky - got hot up at 9,500 ft!

Lake on the way up - we ate lunch looking at this view. They put up a bunch of signs to keep your food always at arm's length, lest a bear be tempted to come over & get it! And if you are confronted by a bear, scream like hell to scare it away - I kind of wanted to scream like a raving lunatic to freak people out...hahaha...

Can't remember the name of this rock formation, but we climbed all the way to the top - the big rock on the right of the bridge. The climb up was probably a 45 degree ascent - needed a rest after that.

We climbed North Dome, which had an amazing view of Half Dome (pictured above).

Come to Jesus

For 27 years of my life, I had never heard the phrase "Come to Jesus meeting". Since I heard it that first time, I think I've heard it about 25 times over the past few months. I feel like that happens to me a lot. For example, I never heard the phrase "where the rubber meets the road" until about 3 years ago. Now I hear it all the time. Same with "quick and dirty" (I hate that one). Or "cursing like bananas on the run". Ok, just kidding about that last one - made it up. But I'm trying to make it the next big thing. Anyway, people have told me about their "come to Jesus" meetings (for those of you ignorant as I was, it's having a serious meeting about something where you want to straighten the other person our, tell them how it is, how you are right and they are wrong, that they need to get their act in gear, or need to understand something. In general, sit down and have a serious-face conversation about some big deal. No laughing. It may come to blows.)

Well, I convened my first "come to Jesus" meeting the other day. Clearly I need practice, because I don't think my point got across during this tete-a-tete, even though I was fairly blunt. So, what's the next step up from a "Come to Jesus" meeting? What if you have to be more serious than convincing someone of a higher power? Thoughts and comments are welcome. Does that mean I have to call for a "World Wrestling Entertainment" or "Ultimate Fighting Challenge" cage match meeting? Any help is greatly appreciated.

Question: what do folks of other faiths call this type of meeting? A "come to Buddha" meeting? Or what about atheists - a "come to the nothing" meeting? Agnostics - "come to the maybe something" meeting? This is all so confusing. Maybe it'll come to me if I curse like bananas on the run.

Returning home random thoughts

Here we go, setting the scene in a succint manner (chronologically):
1. Traveling home from North Dakota, after a grand total of less than 24 hours there.
2. Luggage did not arrive. May or may not get there by 1 AM.
3. Nasty confrontation with ticket agent regarding said missing luggage, composed of many, many curse words.
4. Meeting in morning, no clothes, no paperwork as a result. Me = concerned. Wal-Mart clothing an option, though undesireable.
5. Luggage arrives 12:15 AM. Yay! (So I thought)

And we pick up at that point...with some thoughts on the day, post 12:15AM central time.

1. Not a good idea to drop the f-word so many times in the direction of a ticket agent when they still retain control of your luggage. I am convinced that she keyed in the code in the computer for "revenge on jerk customers", it instructs to: "Completely screw up this luggage, using any means possible. Rugby with sumo wrestlers, fireworks ignited inside case, jackhammer practice, and release of ferocious attack dogs are some suggestions." Clearly, this instruction was heeded, so I found the next morning, when it appeared as if a battering ram was taken to the case on the side, bending in the luggace 6 inches toward the center, and pooching out the other side. As well, the pulley handle was completely unattached from the body of the case. To top it off, a pack of angry mountain lions clearly played with the bag as if it were a squeaky toy. This thing was mangled. When I opened it up, everything look unharmed, but I pulled out the flat iron and it was split in half - pretty tough metal & plastic - bang up job on that one. Opened the cosmetic case - brush split in half, and a thousand tiny pieces of plastic came trickling out...every case for makeup was shattered and unusable. Wow. Be nice to your gate agent.

2. It may indicate trouble if the airline has replacement luggage sitting at the ready behind the counter. Sure enough, when I went to file a complaint, they said instead of filling out paperwork, would I want a new bag? Well, sure, I suppose. She whipped out a brand new bag, that was a knock-off $29.99 bag, like the kind you'd find on a metropolitan city street at those stands where they pack 'em up real quick when a police officer comes by because they're selling off "Coache" and "Katey Spade" bags. Question: why do the airlines have those on hand? Seems like this might be a chronic problem. Regardless, bag checked to Washington empty, along with my quasimodo one.

3. Never a great sign when you are almost about to land but have to reel in the flaps, gun the engines, and break hard left. I'm just saying - that's not part of the usual flight pattern and landing sequence. Nor is it comforting when you see the reason why the pilot did that. It wasn't for giggles, we found out. When you see a plane turning onto then taking off underneath you on the runway (approximately 500 yards) that you're supposed to land on, then a plane crossing your path perpendicularly on a level above the runway, that's not cool. Nothing like a near miss to make half the plane have to change their shorts. That one officially goes into the stat books. Gee, glad I'm a part of that. Who the heck is running the tower? Trained chimps? (Granted, they were landing 2 runways at once, and doubling one up (ours) as a departure one. Note on the double landings - you're supposed to STAGGER those planes, I believe, not land them wing to wing. They didn't get that memo.)

4. A note on parking situation: when all lots full at the airport, and you end up parking at a mall a few miles away (pay-lot), you have a reason to be pissed when the grand total for the parking adventure costs over $70. Cabs to & fro the airport, and cost of parking for 30 hours at the mall = $72. Vs. the parking at the airport: $25.

5. You are entitled to get weirded out when a book, bra, and charger cable are missing from your checked luggage. Because that is just disturbing. Somewhere a luggage handler is strolling around in my boulder holder reading a book about meditation and charging their cell phone. Ewww.

Some other thoughts I had:
1. The word obtuse. Love it - can't wait to use it in a sentence somewhere. Same with obsequious. FUN.

2. People with big bellies: How do they buckle their belts in the morning? Do they put it round the bulge, then lift the fat up to settle it on top of the belt? Or do they go ahead and buckle under the flubber? But isn't that hard to do? You can't see the buckle - do you just feel around like a blind person? Just curious.

3. Is it a law in North Dakota that youhave to own an American vehicle - Chevy, Ford, etc.? I swear, these are the folks keeping the US auto industry alive. But, what did they rent me? A Toyota RAV-4. Let's go ahead and blatently identify the east-coaster.

4. If a person cuts you off, then you realize you are heading to the same destination, and they again cut you off by pulling into a parking spot that you have clearly signaled as yours, are you allowed to make nasty comments or sucker punch them? I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if that was allowed. I settled on a nasty glare.

bad blog, bad

I was a bit pissed at my blog yesterday, I had a nice entry all written about my travels home the other day, and I must have hit something and it all deleted. white screen of blog death. And couldn't restore it. Needless to say, I yelled at my computer and was ready to throw things, but I realized maybe it was because I had gotten a bit long-winded. Brevity is the focus for today. so next entry, much more succint and to the point (so I say now, but I doubt it will end up that way - sorry).

Random thoughts on a travel day

1. I wish they served beer in vending machines. That would come in real handy right now.

2. When it's turbulent in the airplane, and a guy has to pee, does he sit or lean down, or just pee all over the bathroom? (After soliciting information, I am told it is the latter. Thanks, guys.)

3. How come when NorthWest lost my luggage, they gave me a little packet of toothpaste (yes, only good for one usage), and a t-shirt that says NorthWest on it (a XXL, mind you)? Why would I be free advertising for a company that lost my luggage and may or may not be able to get it to me?

4. What do you do when you drive to the airport (Reagan) and ALL lots are completely full, including hourly, valet, and economy? When you ask one of the attendants where to park, and he shakes his head and says not his problem, then what? Well, you start by crapping your pants a bit, because you already sat in 1 traffic jam to get there, and are running late for a terminal that you know will be busy on an airline that notoriously has crappy counter service. What to do? Well, clearly then you drive to the mall and take a cab. Brilliant!! (Hope it doesn't get towed...a strong possibility, though.)

5. How can airline gate agents leave mid-shift, mid-check-in? Saw that for the first time today...my co-worker was in line & had a check-in problem, and the agent just walked away, out the front of the counter and heading toward the door - I was standing nearby and asked her what he was supposed to do in this situation, and she said: "I don't know, someone else behind the counter can help him, I'm off for the day." It's kind of like a paramedic stopping CPR and going for a beer because the shift is over.

6. If there is a child on the plane who screams non-stop for the entire flight, I think it becomes appropriate to tell the parent: "either you shut that kid's mouth or I will." Don't you? I didn't try it today because my brain was bleeding out my ears due to the crying, but I'm thinking the next time that'll be my course of action.

7. I had a pretty foul mouth today...been a bit grumpy...so I realized it's not appropriate to go to the NorthWest counter agent and say "My f-ing bag didn't get here, and I f-ing need it tonight for a meeting early tomorrow. I can't believe this bulls-it. F-ing ridiculous." Might have been an overreaction, but then again, I had listened to an hour of screaming children where all I could think of was shoving the kid in the overhead bin. Now, here's the kicker...I'll be back at the airport in less than 24 hours...they may as well have just kept the dang bag there, and I could just dump it back on the airplane for the way back.

8. Clothing at Wal-Mart in rural North Dakota - not recommended you shop here. Even if all your luggage is lost, you have no clothes, and no contact solution, it'd be better to go naked and blind, I've decided. It's not as if I had my choice of stores in this here town...it was either "Big-K" or Wal-Mart (no lie - nothing else around - they don't sell clothes at the various American Indian super liquor marts, or the quiznos). And the clothes in this neck of the woods are built to be "extra generous" (lots of folks on the rez are plumper than the average bear), so I look like I'm in my "work" jammies. Very professional.

9. Ever wonder if the shampoo and conditioner in the hotel rooms have already been used or someone put something nasty in them? Me too. Gives me the willies - that's why I bring my own...but of course, it isn't here.

10. Bizarro world: someone actually asked if they could switch with me to give me an aisle seat. WHO DOES THAT? I was happy.

11. The American Car industry is buoyed up by middle America, especially the Dakotas. A Chevy or Ford is a necessity in these parts. All the cool kids have them. So what did they give me? A Toyota RAV-4, to differentiate the east-coaster. The only non-American car in town.

12. If you accidentally punch an old lady in the airport, did she have it coming? In my case, yes. I went to put on my jacket and she walked up right behind me (like real close), and as I put my arm through the sleeve I punched her in the shoulder by accident. But apparently I really wanted the jacket on, because I popped her so hard she lost her balance and almost fell over. Oopsie. But that's what you get.

13. Even though I've seen this episode of Sex and the City, why do I watch it for the 30th time? I even say in my head "I've seen this one before," but that doesn't make me pick up the remote and even see what else is on.

14. Do you ever stare at your hotel remote and think "eeeeewwwww"? Me too.

15. Ever have someone cut you off while driving and then end up at the same restaurant? That one happened today. Especially since that rat bastard did run around the bend and did a pull through, blocking the spot I was going to get into. Many evil glares were exchanged.

16. Ever have such a bad day you needed a venti iced coffee? That was yesterday.

17. The sun doesn't set in ND until 10PM. Wierd.